High sensitivity ??

Hello blog ,

I'm back to regular posting again, and today I'm going to be writing about something I had all my life but I didn't know existed until last year. It is called high senstivity.

How did you find out you were a highly sensitive person you may ask imaginary half of this conversation. Well let me explain ,last summer whilst I was packing to go on vacation , I was reading some random articles online (how do you pack and read at the same time don't even ask  ) and I came across this questionnaire. A few clicks later I found the work of psychologist and researcher Dr. Elaine Aron about the "Highly sensitive person" (HSP)  and everything fell into place.

I finally found the explanation for the over reflection ,the unheatlthy perfectionism, all the worrying about how other people feel and just wanting to be alone in a quit place .

So first things first :

What is sensitivity ?

Sensitivity is your ability to pick up on sensory information with your nervous system . It is neutral . It is like a sensitive microphone ,it picks upon subtle sounds . Not good or bad.

Your sensitive nervous system can pick up on other people's emotions , the weather , lighting , sounds , smells ... and enable your body to process it with your thoughts , feeling , emotions and actions.

For a HSP the nervous system picks up much much more information from the outside world so HSPs are way more aware of what's around them which makes them easily overwhelmed by everything . 

As far as I am concerned the worst thing about being a HSP is that I am not shy at all when I am around people I have spent a certain period of time with . My brain works like this : when I meet someone it doesn't matter how much time I've known them for , it doesn't matter if they were family , friends or  if they knew my deepest darkest secrets . If I haven't seen you in a while I'm going to be extremely shy and awkward in the first hour or so of our meeting but after that I am a completely different person  . Which is really bad because I want to talk to people and catch up with them and all as much as I possibly can ,but my brain just doesn't seem to want the same thing. It confused me a lot in the past and it still is.

I have said to myself over and over that this is way more than just being shy . Do I have some kind of double personality or what ? what is wrong with me ? It's like the person I think I am ,the person  I know I am is not able to flow to the surface for the rest of the world to see which sucks very much !

I don't quite know how to live with HS yet  .When I am with others I have an analysis of life rather than an experience of life. When alone , my life is deep , vivid and rich . Or at least that's how I see it.

What I learned from all this situation so far is that no ones know how to live, you cannot plan every minute of your life you just have to go live it . So yes I feel more deeply , I'm very emotional , I take things very personally , I prefer to do things alone , I cry very easily , I take ages to make a decision and I have a hard time turning my brain off at night. But that's who I am and I am still learning how to live with it.

 So this is it for today I hope you have a pleasant morning,afternoon or evening where ever you are.
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Remember ! don't be afraid to show your true colours , embrace who you are and do more of what makes you happy and I'll see you next time .

                                                                Khaoula .A
                                                                    xx